i felt like shouting. i felt like letting out everything i have. i felt heavy.
or maybe, i am. i am overloaded with stuffs.
finally down with one.
we had a great dinner at holland village swensens. all good things must come to an end, we ended our last day by having dinner together with lecturers whom taught us.
total 31 of us treasured the ‘last moment’ we had together. we spent great time talking, eating, snapping countless shots.
i really love everybody, even the purple card citizens. i start to appreciate and salute them whenever they shared their experiences. it’s only with the rapport and trust which allow us to share beyond the learning, exchanging each colourful and dull past side of stories.
Take care TG5, God Bless.
shit. i feel like exploding. even when sitting here typing this let out, my phone still wouldnt let me off, msn, fb-msging, and tasks to be done are running in my head.
i wan to sms siew lay if she had the right sum of money.
i wan to check if im available next week to meet xinying, mdm mingna, mdm jeslyn, meiyee.
i need to sms those who didnt pick up my call, and get their status for this sat meeting.
i need to submit their replies by tmr noon.
i need to pack my stuffs, get my dress for tmr hotel dinner.
i haven even touch on my assignment, where due is just a few days away.
i felt so handicapped. i couldnt find my little calendar.
omgomgomg. . .
im so occupied. but still i really really wan to channel all that stress out first.
let me BLOG.
this is my second time volunteering for standchart, again i opted for leader role. i just want to get involved in another sporting event, to get down and serve.
its a tough job, not just commanding. it is such a huge challenge to get connected with people, strangers. but im working on it.
i have 35 crews to work with me in that carnival sector. i was given an excel with all their emails and nos. im supposed to call and get their reply if they would be able to make it for sat briefing, and counter-check if they got the details such as time and venue right.
it takes me all the way to stretch zone, to do something which i would never. friends whom knew me well enough, i hate answering calls, talking on phone. yet, in this situation, i did it, ringing 35 unknown numbers, introducing myself, notifying and getting details.
it is not an easy task. hard to get through some, and some doesnt give confirmation. im sandwich by the crew and my leader, i can do nothing but -wait. quite disturbing to shelve things around.
it makes it worse with people around me who doesnt understand. when i feel so stress, wanting to tell someone whats happening and the feedback i got was gei kiang.
this remind me of an activity we did in class today. we were told to list the goal we desired, with identification of obstacles and supports. explain what can we do to get to the goal, what do we need to do to achieve.
i realised many goal i had is not shown or told, because it will add on to my obstacles. my support is only me, myself and i. to persevere and just do it.
kinda sad isnt it? but is ok, i think im someone used to not bothering to explain any further to anyone. i rather no support than additional criticism and burden.
that’s me.
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I’ll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
These bright lights have always blinded me.
smile doesnt mean anything. thats just some rainbow in the dark.
today i met mdm salamah. somehow it feels so good to meet old friends. its good to be remembered, to be known and to meet again. i get emotional, it reminds me of those fondest memories.
its contracting but its just these mixture of feeling that bottled up in me.
using one word to describe how i felt now: frustration.
using one word to exactly state what i needed most now: time.
damn.