cindy

selina alerted me this afternoon that one of our poly friend had passed away in an motorbike accident.

he was my classmate for one of the module. smart but seldom turn up for lesson, i remembered seeing goy speaking to him on few occasion. he was also one of my friend in facebook, a list of condolences filled his wall.

i see that boy active usage the day before with floods of comments and list of activities, today, all that will be his history. within 20 hours, things are not gona be the same anymore. we no longer see this person around, and sadness dwell into those who know him.

though i dont know him well, its still so sad to hear news like this. fellow republican course mate, fellow biker, a young person whom same age as me had just gone like that.

i got my class 2B in 6 dec 2007, got a bike one week later and started riding since.

i went for class 2A lessons immediately after a year, and passed on first attempt on 3 feb 2009.

i always wanted to change to a bigger bike, but money is the issue. i cant afford to and so im stuck with my cbr150. its not a powerful bike, but it gets me to my destination.

even on road for two years, im very selective to ride to places which are unfamiliar or heavy traffic. im very conscious not to overstress my competency with road conditions. im scare because i ever witnessed biker lying on road.

its always heartbreaking to see scene like this. cars continue moving fast, blame on biker’ negligence. AHHH! i wouldnt deny that bike is dangerous, but thats the transport that i can afford. i can only advise for all to ride safety and not challenge the road. better be safe than sorry, we all only live once.

the road is dangerous, ride safe, walk safe.

treasure life.

LaVsy says (10:06 PM):
i think all watch 2012 lao
cindy says (10:06 PM):
-.-
govt already emphasize there is not world end
cindy says (10:07 PM):
but it is clear of depleting resources
we gona run out
LaVsy says (10:07 PM):
yes
cindy says (10:07 PM):
those stock market keep falling in numbers
LaVsy says (10:07 PM):
but after so many years
thn they realise
cindy says (10:07 PM):
they realise long ago
cindy says (10:08 PM):
but nothing much they can do
take plastic bag for eg.
each person daily usage is 2.8
non-biodegradable
wan people to bring their own hand out like can die
paper waste
cindy says (10:09 PM):
you go attach one day in school or office you can faint
all these little things, you know but you cant do anything

despite going through so many communication modules, im still no good at it.

i cant get simple message across.

im angry, with myself and the others. seems so direct, simple yet both of us remain at the different frequency and each getting more and more annoyed.

:(

tmr is the final day for standchart. within a week, everyday i have people requesting to withdraw from event. i started with 35, and now i have only 20.

act of responsibility, where are they?

most came from a well known polytechnic. you get excuses such as exam round corner, project and assignment, something crops up, not feeling well..

okay well done. enough of all that, i shallnt be affected.

im lookin forward because its a good time for me to hang out late with xinying. one more day and i gona be off these load. come on, 6 december!

im just very very irritated with random numbers msg-ing me to tell me they are in. i dont like such arrangement of staffing either. i end up not knowing the loose number.

i felt pathetic. damn. sickening.

i seriously hate my phone to keep ringing and sounding like a broken recorder to keep repeating message. f.

im not gona do anything, anything goes. i’ll see what i can do when time comes.

today is the last day of course, we enjoyed ourselves with ‘AED got Talent’. the class became dance floor where we party till class ended. finally its time to get some rest, i need holiday badly.

BUT, next monday must go back school to help clear store. :( after this hopefully..

i was surfing randomly, i saw this message a friend shared in his profile book.

i learned that in 2012, no matter how brilliant an indian is, he/she will still die. Made in China products will save humanity. Malays were never mentioned cause they were wiped out while they were searching for a corner in the globe to lepak and smoke some ciggies before they die. And lastly,the cost of a human life is roughly 1 billion euros.

sweet. haha he managed to summarize that 2.5hr of movie into just these few lines.

i watched this video shared.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj-YMiY4RAA&feature=related

There is a new case of dementia every 7 seconds in the world, Alzheimer’s disease is the most common cause of dementia and is NOT part of normal aging. There are currently NO prevention or cure for it.

Living with dementia.

i felt that was quite a touching short clip to remind us to appreciate the times we have with oldies. im missing my grandparents already, i think i should have spend more weekend with them rather than the other little things. im planning to spend more family time this december. *try not to date me please :)

I can’t live when this world
Just keeps dying
It’s dying

i feels so bad seeing all the wastage everywhere.

we really dont need plastic bag if we can put the stuff we bought into bag or hand carry. even if we took, we can always recycle by keeping them.

why do we need to get an extra straw when we only order one cup of drink? we can always return or keep those extra sauces, sugar, serviette. its not behaving like some aunty, its saving.

every few cents, every little things, if we have the means, why not, save?

):

the pe class went for our bukit timah hike today. we took alot of photos along the way, and had lunch together at al-zhar. class ended 2.30pm.

so decided to go swimming with cousin. it feels good to get in water, to soak and relax. having said that, i have 3 group assignments and 1 individual still awaiting for me before this weekend. shit.

tmr we’ll be having soccer. running in that big big field, i foresee another tiring day.

i been surfing to see if theres any tuition assignment for me to take up. i decided give tuition, money is a good motivator but the real reason is because i wanted to try something different.

i wan to commit to simple teaching, taking this an opportunity to develop the interest to teach. i have very low confident and self-efficacy whether im up to it, but im willing to give my best with whatever job that comes.

wish me luck. (:

i been having fun with the PE & CCA group. our lessons are fun and flexible.

we spent last two days at northspring pri and rivervale pri. we played captain ball/ handball, basketball, floorball, badminton, passing of baton, loco-motors skills..

for indoor, we planned for our bukit timah hike- include RAMS, itinerary.. draft a lesson plan to teach a specific skill, choreograph a 5 min dance.

next week we will be having napfa, soccer, volleyball, bukit timah hike. :)

fun, yet tiring.

body aching all over.

anyway, 5 more days for NIE training to end.

i’m lovin’ it,  everyone gona be enjoying this long weekend!

it a good time to repay all sleeping debt and release all stress. im a little sick with the hectic life, if only i can go for a holiday, to sit whole day at beach. :)

good news or bad news? you perceives.

i received letter from unisim. i was expecting to start school next january, but thats not the case for now. i was offered july 2010 intake instead.

on second thought if i should send my application, but looks like LL i have no other choice right. i wanted january but was offer july, hmm better than nothing. all i can do for that 6 months will be to wait and save. save for my rainy days :)

sometimes i feel that tdg should have just go for some communication classes, so that he learn about reading body language and phrasing his words carefully. he is such a boorish at times, i need to really breathe in and out hard to stay away from spark.

he claimed to be have an engineer mindset, the ’square’ kind of person. he seldom praised, being a practical person, he critique more often. but im glad he isnt a sweet talker too.

when he say something nice, i know he really mean it. even if its rare, it is sweet. today is really a good day! :)

i felt like shouting. i felt like letting out everything i have. i felt heavy.

or maybe, i am. i am overloaded with stuffs.

finally down with one.

we had a great dinner at holland village swensens. all good things must come to an end, we ended our last day by having dinner together with lecturers whom taught us.

total 31 of us treasured the ‘last moment’ we had together. we spent great time talking, eating, snapping countless shots.

i really love everybody, even the purple card citizens. i start to appreciate and salute them whenever they shared their experiences. it’s only with the rapport and trust which allow us to share beyond the learning, exchanging each colourful and dull past side of stories.

Take care TG5, God Bless.

shit. i feel like exploding. even when sitting here typing this let out, my phone still wouldnt let me off, msn, fb-msging, and tasks to be done are running in my head.

i wan to sms siew lay if she had the right sum of money.

i wan to check if im available next week to meet xinying, mdm mingna, mdm jeslyn, meiyee.

i need to sms those who didnt pick up my call, and get their status for this sat meeting.

i need to submit their replies by tmr noon.

i need to pack my stuffs, get my dress for tmr hotel dinner.

i haven even touch on my assignment, where due is just a few days away.

i felt so handicapped. i couldnt find my little calendar.

omgomgomg. . .

im so occupied. but still i really really wan to channel all that stress out first.

let me BLOG.

this is my second time volunteering for standchart, again i opted for leader role. i just want to get involved in another sporting event, to get down and serve.

its a tough job, not just commanding. it is such a huge challenge to get connected with people, strangers. but im working on it.

i have 35 crews to work with me in that carnival sector. i was given an excel with all their emails and nos. im supposed to call and get their reply if they would be able to make it for sat briefing, and counter-check if they got the details such as time and venue right.

it takes me all the way to stretch zone, to do something which i would never. friends whom knew me well enough, i hate answering calls, talking on phone. yet, in this situation, i did it, ringing 35 unknown numbers, introducing myself, notifying and getting details.

it is not an easy task. hard to get through some, and some doesnt give confirmation. im sandwich by the crew and my leader, i can do nothing but -wait.  quite disturbing to shelve things around.

it makes it worse with people around me who doesnt understand. when i feel so stress, wanting to tell someone whats happening and the feedback i got was gei kiang.

this remind me of an activity we did in class today. we were told to list the goal we desired, with identification of obstacles and supports. explain what can we do to get to the goal, what do we need to do to achieve.

i realised many goal i had is not shown or told, because it will add on to my obstacles. my support is only me, myself and i. to persevere and just do it.

kinda sad isnt it? but is ok, i think im someone used to not bothering to explain any further to anyone. i rather no support than additional criticism and burden.

that’s me.

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I’ll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home

These bright lights have always blinded me.

smile doesnt mean anything. thats just some rainbow in the dark.

today i met mdm salamah. somehow it feels so good to meet old friends. its good to be remembered, to be known and to meet again. i get emotional, it reminds me of those fondest memories.

its contracting but its just these mixture of feeling that bottled up in me.

using one word to describe how i felt now: frustration.

using one word to exactly state what i needed most now: time.

damn.

#1

that day, i passed by a drain and was shocked to see two cats in it. initially i thought the drain was linked to that canal so i ignored and went past it.

on closer look later, i realised there are metal bars enclosing at the end, which means the cats in the drain doesnt have the means to get out.

apparently someone must have took out the metal rails from drain and trapped them in it.

it started to drizzle. i empathize on the two helpless cats, i would love to save them. just that i really couldnt make myself to do that. i couldnt get over that psychological barrier- i’m SCARE of cats.

fear vs. moral/ ethics. eventually i succumb to the fear. i did not attempt to rescue the cats. i hope someone else did, for whoever passer-by that saw. i been having this guilt.

#2

we always see newspaper with news of animals saving human. arent they afraid that human might turn to be the aggressor and attack them once they are safe?

im not somebody great. i do have my weakness and im struggling with those little ones.

its really good to see the funky crews, being tag on facebook, receiving a sms, or even just hearing voice from them. these great buddies who we ’serve’ together for the past 3 years. :)

I’m So Going Swensen’s!

im looking forward to meet everyone. every one. sweet, pretty, ugly, fierce, ALL. :)

#3

that day went town with selina. so nice of her to shop with me for dress, so smart of me to get professional advice. i got a red dress, seriously ‘BOOMZ’.

haha check it out for photos later. thanks pretty.

super on, just a sms the night before and i got her dated. wahahaa!

im blessed with people around me. wonderful people, beautiful.

believe it anot.

Nasa Warns of Super Solar Storm 2012

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_TzIUlaQok

and the upcoming movie: 2012.

my opinion: world will not end, but in times to come, who knows what’s coming next. mad cow diseases, bird flu, swine flu, H1N1, warfare, terrorism, depleting resources, global warming…

we need to be alert on whats happening. to be frank, im paranoid about the future.

i do what i can to save best, the others is just to enjoy life to its fullest.

(:

having said that, im bothered by something and someone recently.

a mixture of feelings, distorted thoughts. mostly feeling irritated. damn sian.

i cannot find a way to think, to look and to explain all these feelings. i felt terrible within me.

its so difficult to be harsh and not to care. but i felt better ironically. im naturally soft-hearted and easily get affected. i do not wish to be taken advantage by any of these weaknesses.

for once that i decided to be the bad guy and dont get bothered. whatever happen and i shall not be moved. seriously, seriously, i prayed for all that to disappear. i wan a peace of mind.

amen.

When God gave out brains
I thought He said trains
And I missed mine
When God gave out looks
I thought he said books
And I didn’t want any
When God gave out noses
I thought He said roses
And I asked for a red one

When God gave out chins
I thought He said gins
And I ordered a double
When God gave out heads
I thought He said beds
And I asked for a soft one
Since then I’m trying to
LISTEN BETTER NOW