cindy

everytime i stop at stephanie’s facebook wall, i feel so sad.

i couldnt describe the grief to lost a friend, but its painful.

someone, whose life could be as beautiful.

treasure.

I just can’t believe your gone,
still waiting for morning to come,
wanna see if the sun will rise,
even without you by my side.

When we had so much in store,
tell me what is it i’m reaching for.
When we’re through building memories,
i’ll hold yesterday in my heart, in my heart.

They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
they can take the music that we’ll never play.
All the broken dreams,
take everything,
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.
They can take the future that we’ll never know,
they can take the places that we said we would go.
All the broken dreams,
take everything,
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.

You always used to say,
i should be thankful for everyday.
Heaven knows what the future holds,
or at least how the story goes. (but i never believed them ’til now.)

I know i’ll see you again i’m sure.
No it’s not selfish to ask for more.
One more night, one more day,
one more smile on you face,
but they can’t take yesterday.

They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
they can take the music that we’ll never play.
All the broken dreams,
take everything,
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.
They can take the future that we’ll never know,
they can take the places that we said we would go.
All the broken dreams,
take everything,
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.

I thought our days would last forever. (but it wasn’t our destiny)
‘Cause in my mind, we had so much time.
But i was so wrong.
Now i can, believe that,
i can still find the strength in the moments we made.
I’m looking back on yesterday.

They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
they can take the music that we’ll never play.
All the broken dreams,
take everything,
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.
They can take the future that we’ll never know,
they can take the places that we said we would go.
All the broken dreams,
take everything,
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.

Ooooh…
(All the broken dreams take everything)
But they can never have yesterday.

school started last week, still in honeymoon period till this wednesday.

everyday i get update and sharings from AEDs 30 different primary schools. indeed very funky bunch of people whom we are still kept close contacts to share resources and teaching experiences.

my new environments of friends and colleagues are all driven with passion to inspire. wow wow wow. :)

2010, world changing fast with happenings all around, including people.

today i had breakfast with a friend whom we discussed whether the introduction of competitive sports to children is appropriate. will it boost of affect the development of their overall well-being?

pros and cons, you decide.

i guessed it depends alot on the coach and how sportsmanship was taught. it reminds me of the elite youth competition held at suntec convention hall last friday.

most of us from club were there to support andi for the fight. it was attempt to expose the fighters to the location and familiarize with the proper procedures before the actual youth olympic game. the atmosphere was stressful with familiar faces as usual.

andi’s opponent was rather fierce and aggressive, leading with 3 head kicks pts. it was a tough match but andi put up a great fight despite the lost. i would admit that the opponent has better skills as compared, but he lost the match entirely in terms of sportsmanship.

theres alot of potential fighters coming up, but its sad to see the lack of character development and maturity. what’s point of training the child if he doesn’t even know the word ‘fair’, ‘respect’ and ‘humble’?

i rather not have that fighter until he gets his priorities rights. winning should never be on top of the list.

anyway 3 more weeks for me to complete my second year and moving on to last practical lesson. im looking forward to complete my class 2 license before july so that i can have all certifications before 21. nothing great, just personal goal which i had set for myself.

the 7 minutes train ride was a torture this evening.

news broke out yesterday morning and has been circulating among friends in peirce community.

it was even more heart-wrenching to see the front page of the newspaper to report death of our dear classmate.

i cant help but to stare blankly at the big photo, recalling all fond memories we had together. every moments was a sweet one where we throw jokes around, but instead of smiling, i felt sourish in my eyes.

few weeks back, i saw both of them and i told stephanie that we shall meet up soon. it seems like an mission impossible right now, because we will not have the chance to, not anymore.

it been quite some time since the girls meet up, but we did today. for a purpose which is to attend the funeral.

its so good to see them, though everyone look good upfront, but i believed all felt deeply for the lost of one peer. somehow, we ended up talking bout past, in that yellow-grey uniform days.

the atmosphere at the void deck was so sad. i see many oldies, which i believed to be her grandparents, aunties, uncles or other relatives. other than keeping themselves busy by folding the papers, their eyes were clearly swollen and grief was written all over their faces.

young beautiful picture, with her shirt and pant at chair. there was a spread of food laying on the table in front. behind these is a coffin and children at the side burning the papers. every glimpse at it just added to the pain and grief.

her sister addressed to us and took us through the offering session. it was so hard to hold that joss stick and to bow. it was really hard to do so because every bow is an acceptance of the lost. we sat for awhile before walking around the coffin to bid our last farewell.

i felt so much to lost a friend. maybe we are at distant after graduation, but i will always remember days where we play prank in class, camping at sparkc, and chill at her shop at chinatown.

in my mind, i could briefly picture the scenes. i see bike with pillion at relatively high speed, towards the bend, turning couldnt made in time which resulted in skidding and lost control. pillion flew, rider crashed.

it was known that they were found quite a distant apart. the caused of fatal was due to break of spinal cord, internal bleeding and impact on head.

the friend is in as critical condition and if only she managed to pull through tonight. she had her chest hitting oil tank and suffered serious injuries too.

if i have a choice, i will say goodbye to my repsol. but i cant, because i couldnt afford a car as my transport. all i can is to pray and ride safe.

same too for all people around me. i keep having the feeling that life is so fragile, we really dont know whats gona happen tomorrow and whos gone.

live well. smile more. meet often.

in the year of 2009, so many wonderful moments and exciting things happened.

i officially graduated, collect diploma scroll, went for various interviews, and finally settled down in teaching career and begins new life.

last night was what everyone was looking forward to. countdown to the big leap to the year of 2010.

we had our staff meeting yesterday morning, everyone look so great though all dread for school to start. calendar of activities are exciting, but sure a challenge for the man to execute the plan. whoever assigned to the task, good luck.

initially wanted to join the crowd for countdown, so headed down to marina sq with mum. we changed our mind after dinner when the influx of crowds came. too many people is one, another reason is mr tan is at home. bf or mum? ahah. tough choice.

so we came home after dinner and some walking around. watch tv countdown and slept after that. i get tire easily, probably school bout to start, body clock has been adjusted.

1st January 2010.

i received a call this morning while i was still on bed. xinying called and told me our dear classsmate had passed away this morning in a bike accident. it was so shocking, and very sad to receive news like this.

http://news.omy.sg/News/LocalNews/Story/OMYStory201001011546-116748.html

few weeks ago, one of my fellow classmate in poly also passed away in an bike accident. this is scary, like an alert to me and to all who are always on road.

i dont know what to say, just very sad that this is happening. in another 23 days, she will be celebrating her 21st bday, but god took her away. tomorrow we will be heading down to her wake at amk.

goodbye my friend, stephanie tan lai chan.

selina alerted me this afternoon that one of our poly friend had passed away in an motorbike accident.

he was my classmate for one of the module. smart but seldom turn up for lesson, i remembered seeing goy speaking to him on few occasion. he was also one of my friend in facebook, a list of condolences filled his wall.

i see that boy active usage the day before with floods of comments and list of activities, today, all that will be his history. within 20 hours, things are not gona be the same anymore. we no longer see this person around, and sadness dwell into those who know him.

though i dont know him well, its still so sad to hear news like this. fellow republican course mate, fellow biker, a young person whom same age as me had just gone like that.

i got my class 2B in 6 dec 2007, got a bike one week later and started riding since.

i went for class 2A lessons immediately after a year, and passed on first attempt on 3 feb 2009.

i always wanted to change to a bigger bike, but money is the issue. i cant afford to and so im stuck with my cbr150. its not a powerful bike, but it gets me to my destination.

even on road for two years, im very selective to ride to places which are unfamiliar or heavy traffic. im very conscious not to overstress my competency with road conditions. im scare because i ever witnessed biker lying on road.

its always heartbreaking to see scene like this. cars continue moving fast, blame on biker’ negligence. AHHH! i wouldnt deny that bike is dangerous, but thats the transport that i can afford. i can only advise for all to ride safety and not challenge the road. better be safe than sorry, we all only live once.

the road is dangerous, ride safe, walk safe.

treasure life.

LaVsy says (10:06 PM):
i think all watch 2012 lao
cindy says (10:06 PM):
-.-
govt already emphasize there is not world end
cindy says (10:07 PM):
but it is clear of depleting resources
we gona run out
LaVsy says (10:07 PM):
yes
cindy says (10:07 PM):
those stock market keep falling in numbers
LaVsy says (10:07 PM):
but after so many years
thn they realise
cindy says (10:07 PM):
they realise long ago
cindy says (10:08 PM):
but nothing much they can do
take plastic bag for eg.
each person daily usage is 2.8
non-biodegradable
wan people to bring their own hand out like can die
paper waste
cindy says (10:09 PM):
you go attach one day in school or office you can faint
all these little things, you know but you cant do anything

despite going through so many communication modules, im still no good at it.

i cant get simple message across.

im angry, with myself and the others. seems so direct, simple yet both of us remain at the different frequency and each getting more and more annoyed.

:(

tmr is the final day for standchart. within a week, everyday i have people requesting to withdraw from event. i started with 35, and now i have only 20.

act of responsibility, where are they?

most came from a well known polytechnic. you get excuses such as exam round corner, project and assignment, something crops up, not feeling well..

okay well done. enough of all that, i shallnt be affected.

im lookin forward because its a good time for me to hang out late with xinying. one more day and i gona be off these load. come on, 6 december!

im just very very irritated with random numbers msg-ing me to tell me they are in. i dont like such arrangement of staffing either. i end up not knowing the loose number.

i felt pathetic. damn. sickening.

i seriously hate my phone to keep ringing and sounding like a broken recorder to keep repeating message. f.

im not gona do anything, anything goes. i’ll see what i can do when time comes.

today is the last day of course, we enjoyed ourselves with ‘AED got Talent’. the class became dance floor where we party till class ended. finally its time to get some rest, i need holiday badly.

BUT, next monday must go back school to help clear store. :( after this hopefully..

i was surfing randomly, i saw this message a friend shared in his profile book.

i learned that in 2012, no matter how brilliant an indian is, he/she will still die. Made in China products will save humanity. Malays were never mentioned cause they were wiped out while they were searching for a corner in the globe to lepak and smoke some ciggies before they die. And lastly,the cost of a human life is roughly 1 billion euros.

sweet. haha he managed to summarize that 2.5hr of movie into just these few lines.

i watched this video shared.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj-YMiY4RAA&feature=related

There is a new case of dementia every 7 seconds in the world, Alzheimer’s disease is the most common cause of dementia and is NOT part of normal aging. There are currently NO prevention or cure for it.

Living with dementia.

i felt that was quite a touching short clip to remind us to appreciate the times we have with oldies. im missing my grandparents already, i think i should have spend more weekend with them rather than the other little things. im planning to spend more family time this december. *try not to date me please :)

I can’t live when this world
Just keeps dying
It’s dying

i feels so bad seeing all the wastage everywhere.

we really dont need plastic bag if we can put the stuff we bought into bag or hand carry. even if we took, we can always recycle by keeping them.

why do we need to get an extra straw when we only order one cup of drink? we can always return or keep those extra sauces, sugar, serviette. its not behaving like some aunty, its saving.

every few cents, every little things, if we have the means, why not, save?

):

the pe class went for our bukit timah hike today. we took alot of photos along the way, and had lunch together at al-zhar. class ended 2.30pm.

so decided to go swimming with cousin. it feels good to get in water, to soak and relax. having said that, i have 3 group assignments and 1 individual still awaiting for me before this weekend. shit.

tmr we’ll be having soccer. running in that big big field, i foresee another tiring day.

i been surfing to see if theres any tuition assignment for me to take up. i decided give tuition, money is a good motivator but the real reason is because i wanted to try something different.

i wan to commit to simple teaching, taking this an opportunity to develop the interest to teach. i have very low confident and self-efficacy whether im up to it, but im willing to give my best with whatever job that comes.

wish me luck. (:

i been having fun with the PE & CCA group. our lessons are fun and flexible.

we spent last two days at northspring pri and rivervale pri. we played captain ball/ handball, basketball, floorball, badminton, passing of baton, loco-motors skills..

for indoor, we planned for our bukit timah hike- include RAMS, itinerary.. draft a lesson plan to teach a specific skill, choreograph a 5 min dance.

next week we will be having napfa, soccer, volleyball, bukit timah hike. :)

fun, yet tiring.

body aching all over.

anyway, 5 more days for NIE training to end.

i’m lovin’ it,  everyone gona be enjoying this long weekend!

it a good time to repay all sleeping debt and release all stress. im a little sick with the hectic life, if only i can go for a holiday, to sit whole day at beach. :)

good news or bad news? you perceives.

i received letter from unisim. i was expecting to start school next january, but thats not the case for now. i was offered july 2010 intake instead.

on second thought if i should send my application, but looks like LL i have no other choice right. i wanted january but was offer july, hmm better than nothing. all i can do for that 6 months will be to wait and save. save for my rainy days :)

sometimes i feel that tdg should have just go for some communication classes, so that he learn about reading body language and phrasing his words carefully. he is such a boorish at times, i need to really breathe in and out hard to stay away from spark.

he claimed to be have an engineer mindset, the ’square’ kind of person. he seldom praised, being a practical person, he critique more often. but im glad he isnt a sweet talker too.

when he say something nice, i know he really mean it. even if its rare, it is sweet. today is really a good day! :)