GOAL
something is very wrong with me. age catching up, maturity or im just getting older, i dont know. i tend to take things easy and very relax. low anxiety for assignment given, even though there are grades to it.
because of RP PBL, we are more outspoken and familiarize with presentation?
or is it because of the exposure i had in school as an AED, im now more confident to speak and instruct?
few days ago, we were told to present each individual’s group idea from the butcher sheet. nobody in my team took the initiatives so i volunteered. two in each team are to present, so i had another team mate who had the intention to ‘throw smoke grenade’. she said she will only read out the heading and pass on to me whom are expected to elaborate. i say fine, anyway its not hard and i know what to say.
nothing was rehearsing in my mind, i was relaxing hearing out the other team while she on the other hand was trying to phrase her thoughts on how to say (say the heading -.-)
the other team presenters were equally stressed. some with notes on hand, reading out without eyes contact and the others who stammer as they were still organising their thoughts.
i dont know if that was the right mood i had tune to because i wasnt excited and looking forward. basically it’s just a task given, so i literally went up speak on behalf of team and no additional feelings.
during secondary or poly days when we still having test as assessment, i will panic and days before i will load all informations to a extent ‘overload’ to make sure im well-prepared to score. but during this course of study currently, im not that hardworking to even read twice. as i flip through the notes, i know i knew, so i never really drill myself that hard. im not proud, i just couldnt put in that extra effort. i dont know why.
today, i had my 2nd Dan grading. i must really confess that i never practise all my patterns at all. two weeks ago when brother and i went for grading preparation workshop was my first time going through and remembering my koryo pattern. and for that sunday, it was hari raya holiday so no class.
during weekdays, im too tire to revise after lesson. so i only practise last sunday by going through all 10 patterns roughly once. i knew grading date are nearer, and its not cheap. one hundred and fifty for this promotion test, and i ought to practise, do well and pass. but still i did not.
i know i knew. test me any pattern, i know how to do it.
quite a number of people coming for grading today. we had to wait for all red 1 to clear before us. we wait for four hours, and even as we settle down for our turn, my heart still doesnt pick up the speed.
brother said he was very nervous, scare.. but i just cant feel a thing. im first, and he is fouth. we are the first team out for test. so yeah, we did koryo first and it was good.
2 other basic patterns were Taeguek Sam-Jang and Taeguek Sa-Jang. sam-jang is one of the pattern we practise least because the club doesnt have any kids in that belt.
i know how to do, but during the grading test, i failed to perform professionally. i made mistakes so i bowed and redo, to make it worst, i made another mistake again and need to redo. i finally got it right after the second try. i had it mixed with Taeguek E-Jang.
other than these mistakes, the rest i personally felt im still alright, able to perform what is required. only lacking was my stamina, i tends to get weak, look VERY pale when im aggressively engaged. though i claimed that i love sport and adventure, sometimes i really wouldnt deny that my physical is not there. im weak.:(
thats me. i dont know if the change is towards positive and negative, i do have new perceptions towards problem i faced with higher self-efficacy and self-confident. I KNOW I CAN.
anyway, just to share, im keen to work on a personal project.
somehow after attending Dr Steven’s instructional methods in outdoor education, i seems to be able to see a clearer picture of what should be the facilitation techniques and question myself if we really did a good job for fyp2.
my answer was NO, even though i scored an A. my team did a great job, we were extremely hardworking and no doubt on mr tham’s leadership. but.. i just felt that my report was out of point. it does not specify exactly what generation of facilitation and why.
after Dr Steven’s course, he defined clearly the needs of reflection, according to John Dewey. therefore the first few generations are obviously out. also, he questioned the last few generations such as frontloading and isomorphic because of practically, we wouldnt deny the fact that singapore do no have as much qualified high level instructors. during his lesson, he shared his idea that debriefing and metaphoric transfer, it was pretty reasonable and i totally agreed with his rationale.
im very inspire to REDO my fyp. i wan to investigate the facilitation techniques commonly used in singapore, i wan to frame my studies on primary level and i have a good quota for experiential. i will review on it as i work, i get to learn everyday, cool isnt it?
learn. unlearn. relearn.
im learning again, are you?
